Another quiet week...

A week has gone by since we heard anything from Taiwan. I don't expect to hear anything soon, but I hope to! The closer we get to meeting our little girl, the more I think about her, pray for her, cry for her and miss her. I am having trouble sleeping at night. This child is truly a child carried in my heart. Having been pregnant before this is a totally new experience. When I was pregnant my love for the baby grew with the baby. The baby was always with me and I didn't long for the child, I already had him. Even though I wanted to hold him and see him, the wait was bearable.

With this adoption, everyday that goes by is another day that I will never have with my daughter. Everyday she learns something new or experiences something for the first time and I am not there to see it. Every night she goes to bed without a kiss and a hug from her Mama. Everyday that she is away is another day that is added to her healing process when she finally comes home.

I don't understand why this process has to take so long. We went through an initial approval to adopt, then we went through another approval to adopt in Taiwan. Then our family went through a lengthy approval to be matched with Meghan, by not only Chung Yi but also the local government in Taichung City. Finally we went through a seemingly thorough court process (if the Court Appointed Social Worker's questions to us were any indication). Now we are a waiting - why? The judge heard his case. What does stalling for weeks or months add to the process?

I know that God has this all mapped out. Apparently, I have some, more refining to do because I am still feeling impatient.