3 Months Today!

Wow. I can't believe that it has been 3 months. We all just keep looking at each other and saying this is not the same child we met in Taiwan. The transformation is unbelievable. Meghan has gone from what could be described as an uncaged wild animal to an average 5 year old. She has so much more self control and obedience that it is amazing. This is the sweet child of my dreams. This is a child with no sense of family or consequence blossoming into a little girl with empathy, love and happiness. This is what adoption is all about.

Every time I watch her do something new and wonderful I can't help but think where she would be if she were still sitting in that orphanage in Taiwan. Even in the pictures that we took in Taiwan and when we first got home she seems different.

People have told me, and I know I have said before that the 3 month anniversary is a turning point. From my experience it is so true. Here are some of the things that Meghan is doing now, that she couldn't or wouldn't do earlier:

Brushing her teeth.

Sitting at the table for meals

Closing her mouth while eating

Not tormenting the dogs

Walking quietly through the house instead of running and screaming

Taking a bath when I say without a fuss

Getting out of the bath when I say without a fuss

Sitting in her car seat without a fuss

Buckling her seat belt without a fuss

Waiting

No longer hugging strangers

Playing with toys

Showing empathy

Learning

Things we are still working on:

Not touching other peoples belongings unless she asks.

Not grabbing other people's belongings unless she asks.

Not getting that catatonic look on her face (whole body) when reprimanded.

Speaking (shouting out to really) strangers in public

Her English is coming along remarkably well. I can't even count how many words she has in her vocabulary. A couple of weeks ago I had her tested for speech therapy because I was worried about her not using sentences. She wasn't finishing sounds of words either. But now, I think we will wait on the speech therapy. I took her to an appointment today and honestly, I can sit and play kitchen with her and teach her the names of the vegetables. I really don't need to pay $80 a session for that. Maybe later when the language is here, and she is consistently missing sounds or pronunciation or articulation. But right now she is still developing and the skills are still emerging. I think I missed the window to have her tested in Mandarin because, sadly, I see it fading. She can't remember all her MOMO songs. I'm glad I got that on tape.

I think that now, after 3 months, if we brought her back to Taiwan she would cry and be upset. I always felt that before now, she wouldn't care if she went back to Chung Yi. I think that she didn't understand that we are her forever family and she never would go back to Chung Yi. But I think she has finally become attached to us. She now has shame when she is corrected on a behavior. She gets embarrassed. And most of all, when she meets a new person she clings to us or hides behind us. Now those behaviors don't sound healthy do they? How many times do parents of toddlers try to get their shy child to greet an adult, or speak up for themselves. Or even perform a song or dance routine that the child does so well in the privacy of the home. As a parent of 4 sons, I know that I used to try so hard to get my sons to stop being so shy and speak up for themselves. But my sons were attached to me and looked to me for security and comfort.

Then Meghan comes along. She was not shy at all. If she wanted something she would go take it. From whoever had it. She would talk to (shout to) random strangers. She showed no modesty. She would do anything to draw attention to herself, especially little booty dances. She knew nothing about stranger danger. In fact she couldn't differentiate between stranger and family. These behaviors are not healthy. Look at any normally developing, normally socialized 2 year old and you can tell. So now that Meghan is exhibiting new behaviors of shyness, modesty and self awareness it is a good thing. It means she is attaching to us. The fact that she hides behind us when she meets a new person shows that feels secure in us. She isn't looking for attention and affection in just anyone. Only us.

I don't know if what I am trying to say is coming out the way I want it to. I do know that Meghan is attaching to us and as a result her behaviors are changing. She cares about what we think and thus feels embarrassed when we have to remind her of a correct behavior (for example "please close your mouth when you chew your food." or "please don't touch that lady's phone").

If you aren't here yet in your adoption journey, don't get discouraged. As good as I make it sound, it's not all perfect. After one and a half hours of alone time tonight, doing bath, 2 books, prayers and the tuck in, Meghan just informed me that she doesn't like me, she likes Daddy. What else is new?