God's Perfect Plan...

I started this post nearly a week ago, but then I got busy and never finished it. So I am going to publish it now so that I can move on. Below is what I wrote a week ago.

What a day today was!! I am so glad it is over, although technically it is only 7pm, I am considering it over. It was one of Meghan's worst days. She is now in bed, sans bath, sans her Jingle story book, a whole hour early. Just for the sanity of the rest of the family. The really sad part is, I pick her up at 3:30 from school. So it only took her 3 1/2 hours to turn our whole day upside down and earn herself an early bedtime.

I almost had to replace a computer at the public library. And a couple other big ticket items such as the Universal Remote, the Washer and the Dryer. Let's just leave it at that. But the creme de la creme was when she locked me in the garage. I was right behind her coming in from the car and she ran in and locked the door. What a little angel!!! What really gets me is the way she acts after she is in trouble. That is where I really get mad and need to pray for patience. It's not so much what she does it's the way she acts when I try to teach her that throwing the remote control at the tv is wrong, or that you don't push all the buttons on the washing machine just because they are there. Or not to lock Mommy in the garage.

She gets this attitude like, "I'm not listening to you." She acts as if she has been wronged by me and she didn't do anything wrong. She has the sassiest look on her face like there is no way that I could have any authority over her. Then she refuses to make eye contact. I have to confess, the disrespect is what really gets to me. I know, I know, everyone will comment that she has to learn the respect yada yada yada. I know all that but it doesn't help in the moment when that 5 year old is completely shutting down. She will not be reasoned with. And if we are somewhere public where she can't have the tantrum ie: church, the public library etc., then I have to physically carry a kicking, screaming, crying, snotty little kid out. By the way my back is killing me!

My other kids are suffering. They can't stand her behavior. They also cannot stand to see her cry. I hate this.

So today she was lying on the ground wailing in front of the library entrance, I mean literally people were stepping over her to enter and exit. (This is where I plopped her down after physically carrying the limp noodle from the children's section to the exit- it's amazing how one can have a tantrum and be a limp noodle all at the same time!). I was trying to ignore her and telling my two sons to ignore her too. This was very difficult for them. These two ladies were standing nearby, unable to ignore this screaming child. I said, "Sorry, she's been in an orphanage and she's having a little problem with authority and boundaries." The elder lady asked how long she had been home. When I told her since Thanksgiving she said "God bless you!" The other lady looked at me with the most understanding eyes and said, "I have 5 from India." I just wanted to hug both of these people. God puts his support in place where and when we need it. He will not abandon us!

The funny thing is that once I started talking to these two ladies they put me at ease, we were smiling and laughing and Meghan started watching us. She forgot about her tantrum and went and sat next to Christian on the bench that he had decided to wait it out on. If I ignore her behavior and actually appear to be smiling and laughing with someone else, she gives up. If there is no one around to smile with then I just check my emails or pretend to be busy with my phone. It works!

So anyway we made it home from the library and that's when she locked me in the garage.

Ok, that was last week. The roller coaster continues and we have had a whole week, well 6 days, of good. Really good. She is really getting the discipline down and no longer is throwing fits when she is caught disobeying. For instance, my kids are swimmers. Swim team is a huge part of our life and we are at the pool a lot. When my 7 year old swims I usually wait at the pool during his practice. Meghan loves to watch and play with the other kids there. When she first came home I watched her like a hawk at the pool because the girl is super clumsy and sinks like an anchor (another story). But now I have shown her where she is allowed to play and she knows not to cross a certain line. I still watch her continuously but I don't have to stand within arms reach of her. Now, today she crossed the line. I was up and to her immediately. I told her not to cross the line and wanted her to say, "ok." "yes," or "yes ma'am." She started to pull the old, mad face, don't look me in the eye, and ignore me routine. So I placed her on the bleachers, facing the wall not the kids, and I walked a short way off. She turned around and said "yes ma'am." I said "Don't cross the line" and she said "yes ma'am" again. That's how it has been going here lately. She even holds my hand in the parking lot. Not bad.