Tonight I had to take my 3 oldest to the pool for swim practice. It was the first day of the new season so I stayed to watch. I had thought there was going to be a parent meeting so I made arrangements for Meghan to stay at home with my dad and her 7 year old brother. (My dad lives with us since my Mom passed away last February- so it's not a big deal to leave them- she is so in love with her grandfather). The practice lasted an hour and a half.
So when I got home it was time to get Meghan ready for bed. I called her down and she came down crying. I think the bigger boys had come home to find these little two on the XBox. And of course they put a stop to that. So Meghan was crying. She continued to cry all the way down the stairs, while getting teeth brushed, and pajamas on. Finally I got her tucked into bed and said that we couldn't read books tonight because she was crying too much and that told me she was too tired and needed to go to bed. But I sat down with her and rubbed her head and said her prayers and told her not to be so sad. I told her about the water park we are going to tomorrow (no concept) and she settled down. Then as I got up to leave she said "Mommy don't leave me." That is the first time she has ever said anything like that. In fact most of the time at bed she tells me to go. Leave. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
I sat right back down and covered her with kisses and said repeatedly that I would never leave her and I was always going to be with her for ever and ever. I think it sunk in. Because she stopped crying and told me I could go to the kitchen and do the dishes.
Anyway. Maybe the continued crying was more than just being tired and having a coveted item such as the older boys XBox being taken away. I like to think so. Not that I want her to be sad, or insecure. But I want her to want me to want her. I want her to care enough about us that she doesn't want to leave us.
We have been home 8 and 1/2 months and I think we are definitely on the right path. She is becoming so much more normal. Normal? Is that the right word? Just a regular kid.
Except tonight when she threw away her jello pudding (you know those little snack packs?) she threw away the spoon too. Still work to do.
You are doing such a great job with Meghan. I think with older children it takes longer for them to feel as though they are forever home with their forever family. She's made such huge gains. Keep on keeping on!
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