Help!

Oh My Gosh!  I have had such trouble getting on to blogger! I know it's been way too long but now that I need to get on I NEED TO GET ON!  I need your wisdom .  I need encouragement.  I need help!

I am directly talking to my blogger friends- somebody tell me what to do!

Yesterday I found Meghan's biological brother and sister on the waiting child photo listing.  And it wasn't by coincidence.  I was directed there.  God's timing.  God's providence. 

I accidentally on purpose ended up on a website for waiting children from Taiwan and there they were,  We met them when we picked up Meghan.  They were brought to say good bye to her, which was ironic since they didn't know each other.  Meghan had been removed from the family when she was 6 months old...or so I thought.  Records can be so sketchy in international adoption.  They even have the siblings listed as Chiang- when on all Meghan's records it says Jiang.  Sister is Ching instead of Jing.  But it's them. 

They are now 12 and 10.  And don't forget those horrible labels that they give over there which scare away adoptive parents.  Well these two were actually sent to the (Mental?) Institution for a few years.  They must have done really well with therapy because they are out now, and mainstreamed into a regular orphanage.  And not on any medication.

I got their files and they sound great, just a lot of work as is any post institutionalized kid, only there are two, and I already have 5.  And my husband is gone HALF the time.  And my 13 year old is a drama queen (yes I know he is a boy - but really - the way he acts about things...) who I don't think could handle having another kid in the family let alone 2 special needs kids (because ALL post institutionalized older kids are special needs).  And my oldest son is a competitive swimmer ($$$!!!!  It's ok - think college, think college- think scholarship...) and requires at least one parent to be gone about a week out of the month.  And we don't have room in our house.  And we are almost upside down in our mortgage so even if we wanted to sell- well there goes all the pretend equity.

BUT- what if no one comes to get them?  What if they age out?   Why don't they deserve parents?  What will Meghan say when she grows up and finds out we let her brother and sister just sit in an orphanage?  You know how I feel about orphanages already...everyday is detrimental to the kids.  These two have GROWN UP in orphanages and institutions.  Yet they are still such cute and sweet kids.  How can we not pursue them?  What if God had only pursued the perfect?  We would ALL still be in darkness.  These two kids are trapped in darkness, with little hope of escape.  I don't want to be their only hope.  I can't be their only hope.

Please pray with me for these kids.  I don't have permission yet to post their picture but I have a picture of my own that I took in Taiwan that I will post.  I also have video of the two- form Heartsent (the agency that I saw them on).  Tom and I watched it over and over (it was on repeat and we didn't even notice - we were so transfixed on the kids).  The girl is super sweet.  Quiet, yet a performer on stage (who does that sound like?? not the quiet part of course) .  And the boy is all boy.  It just looks like he needs to get outside to a pile of dirt and PLAY!

If you know anyone that would consider a special sibling set then PLEASE send them this way!  We are trying to set up a grant account for their adoption.  Honestly- we would GIVE anything to find them a good home.  My goal is to have their adoption as fully funded as legally possible.
Please my friends, give me some Godly wisdom on how to proceed. 

But I can't sign off without a Meghan update.  Everything is going REALLY WELL (of course it is- that is why God threw me a curve ball).  That is why I havent posted in so long.  Things are NORMAL.  I even have doubted whether or not I need to home school her next year - she is so normal.  The thing is, I WANT to homeschool her - to spend more time with her.  How's that for a kicker?  Don't get me wrong, come 7:30pm and I am thrilled to put her to bed for the night, but I am loving her now so normally.  Am I making sense?  There is no more faking it till your making it, because we are making it.
Of course. Whatever.  Help!