5 Months!

Our little girl has been home 5 Months!

I've said it before and I will say it again- she is no where near the same child that we met on a drizzly November afternoon in Taiwan. She is not wild. She is not hidden down in the depths of her soul but she has surfaced and she is now part of this world.

But she's not perfect. She still tries to boss us all around. She still wants to not only be the center of attention but the only attention. She still grabs and tries to take control of things. She wants to be in charge. I have to keep reminding her that I am the Mommy and I will take care of her. I think that that is a hard concept to grasp, when you've never had anyone looking out for you before.

And sometimes I worry. No, all the time I worry. I try not to. But those dumb reports are still in the back of my mind. I constantly am looking for signs of mental deficiency. I am constantly looking at other kids her age, adopted or not, and comparing their development to hers. I wonder why she keeps putting her shoes on the wrong feet. Why can't she figure out what letter comes "before" another letter. She has "after" down. She can tell you in a heartbeat what letter comes after j or w or f or whatever, but if you ask her what comes before.... well, it can be frustrating. She can write her name, it isn't pretty but she can do it.

I would say that our battles now are battles between a parent and a somewhat poorly behaved child. Not the battles of control, fear and not knowing how to fit into a family or society in general. Today we went to the beach. She has never been to the beach - that I know of. She was playing with all the kids and then she started throwing sand. They all asked (yelled) her to stop. She didn't. I stepped in and removed her. Then I wanted her to say she was sorry. Tears, sobs, snot running down the face- the whole shebang. I told her she couldn't play until she said she was sorry. She didn't play for about 30 minutes. Those are the battles we are having. Gone are the days of battling over seat belts, hand holding, walking, opening and shutting doors (constantly), chasing the dogs, putting things in the microwave, getting in the tub, getting out of the tub, etc. I'd say our battles are a little more sophisticated- if a battle can be sophisticated. I wonder if a day will ever come when we don't battle.

Her English is getting better. She is using sentences probably 95% of the time. She starts sentences with "me" instead of "I" about 75% of the time. This now is my pet peeve. She knows it too. But she still does it. UGH!

She also is in swim lessons and LOVES it. We are a swim family and our coach is giving her private lessons. I just want her pool safe and soon. We will be taking our pool fence down soon as it is finally getting warm and the water is heating up. She needs to be water safe pronto!

These past 5 months have been difficult. My easy life with 4 boys really turned upside down. Our house is now loud and chaotic. But we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and when Meghan is agreeable she is such a little joy. I only see it getting better and better. When things do get tough I just remember that God called us to her and that He is in control. It puts everything back into perspective. His plan is perfect and He is taking care of us all.